elements beneath the sky...

Owning 2 masks - featuring my true self & the other self... I've drifted from the normal path. Juz some thoughts, opinions, complaints, gossips, bullshits... beneath the boundaryless sky that we share.

Name:

I am... by my own standards... a simple, sincere, average-looking scopio who can be both quiet and crazy; one who needs time to warm up to people; a homebody; sometimes impatient and stubborn, and erm, a mech engineer who doesn't look and sound like one.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Dark inside, bright outside

Many people think that I'm independent - I think I'm not
Many people feel that I'm very capable - perhaps I've some history of success that suggested so... again, I don't think so...
When I suggested otherwise, people say that I am too humble.
I say I have no confidence.

A large downfall that occurs in 2002 caused me to tumble and fall.
I tasted failure... and subconsciously, I have been affected.
I doubted my abilities and I lost some confidence.
Let it be a lesson, I told myself as I moved on.

Sometimes I feel very lost - I couldn't make out what I want in life.
Sometimes once I have decided on some things, I still asked for opinions merely to get assurances.
Sometimes, my decisions are swayed by differing viewpoints.
Haiz, why can't I make up my mind? Why do I have to think so much? Why am I bothered so much by what others think of me? - again, it think it voices down to the "living up to expectation" issues... many people (including myself) have high expectation of me (myself)

Stressed out at times... but do anyone know?
Nope! What they see is my other self.
A bright exterior which can sometimes be dark inside.

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