Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I’ve tried to be good this year and I think I’ve done pretty all right… It’s not snowing here. My house doesn’t have a chimney for you to “drop in” but you can try to remove the roof tiles and climb down from the false ceiling. I won’t be at home this X’mas Eve. There’s no christmas tree with cute or beautiful ornaments. If you like, I can put up a X’mas stocking for the only present I asked for.

If you wish to drop by Singapore, you might like to consider wearing a raincoat instead (it’s monsoon season; also, your santa’s clothes is a bit thick for our hot and humid weather). Before you forget, you need to get your sleigh registered first (we function in a “law-by-law” manner) or you will be shot down by our ancient A-4SU Skyhawks (soon to be replaced by Boeing’s F-15E Strike Eagle). If you haven’t done so, I am afraid it might be too late because the relevant authorities could take weeks to decide whether to classify your flying sleigh as an aircraft or on-road vehicle (it happens once with the duck tour – boat/bus? remember?). By then, you would have to give Singapore a miss (sobs sobs, no more presents for us). Perhaps you can try writing in to The Straits Times and Today (two newspapers with the highest readerships) to comment (read as: complain) on their efficiency for I’ve seen many many people done this. Not sure if it works but I know that you will be thanked for highlighting (part of their SOP) and be notified that they will look into the matter (with no time line mentioned). If you happen to get the go-ahead in time, great great! Please see my only wish below (you see, I’ve been nice and not naughty, so I expect to get the present I asked for, not lumps of coals). Else, you can give my following wish a miss (don’t waste time to read).

I am not greedy. I only asked for one wish *grin*. I wish for a real Doraemon, Xiao Ding Dang (NOT soft toy, display figurine)… so that I can be a true Da Xiong (eh, no no, Da Xiong sounds a bit nerdy for me… Xiao Xiong sounds nicer). Doraemon can bring me into the future to see what’s new/novel that I can use for my work, and of course (not forgetting to give back to society), to retreive possible cures for cancer, aids, strokes, diabetes, bird flu etc. and the methods for human parts reconstruction and replacement… and to satisfy my curiosity (hence, the name qurioz), to find if there’s really an invention for longevity, check when natural resources will run dry or if mankind will become extinct one day, whether there’re really Martians out at Mars, etc. In addition, I would ask doraemon to take me around the world… and allow me to pilot a helicopter/aeroplane, drive a yacht/speedboat out to seas to sunbathe during weekends, participate in the F1 races with no accidents, dive without any clearing problem, conquer all mountains especially Mount Everest with no mishaps, speak like a Toast Master, play piano and guitar like a pro, have a sexier figure, have lots of money to help those in need, etc. That will be really great… *dreaming*

Thanks!

Merry Christmas ;p

With lots of luv,
Xiao Xiong