elements beneath the sky...

Owning 2 masks - featuring my true self & the other self... I've drifted from the normal path. Juz some thoughts, opinions, complaints, gossips, bullshits... beneath the boundaryless sky that we share.

Name:

I am... by my own standards... a simple, sincere, average-looking scopio who can be both quiet and crazy; one who needs time to warm up to people; a homebody; sometimes impatient and stubborn, and erm, a mech engineer who doesn't look and sound like one.

Friday, September 16, 2005

I wonder...

  • Come to think of it, I have never confided any of my problems (minus trivial ones) with my dad & mum unlike some of the people I know – Not their fault probably (in fact, they are great as parents, parents who do not pressurized us to do the things we do not like to do, parents who provide the sufficient care, concern and support), just that I’m just not used to confiding in them – and I wonder why? I wonder if this will ever change? I wonder how many people are just like me?
  • I always kept problems to myself (and perhaps shared some with Xi) during my sec sch and JC days – maybe I don’t really trust people enough after a betrayal incident (I wonder if I still trust the word "best" in front of the word "friend") – and I wonder why I can still be a relatively happy person back then (maybe I’m easily satisfied, simple… or maybe there’s really nothing for me to worry about except getting more As…)? ;p
  • Xian probably understands me more than anybody else and vice versa – we’ve probably reached steady state* given whatever disturbances* and variabilities* – and I wonder how much (or to what extent) we have taken each other for granted?
  • By right, I should be contented with what I have now. But somehow, I sensed that something is missing in my life - something that I couldn’t identify (is it a something which would allow me to be really proud of, a something which people would recognize, a something which I really enjoy doing…) – I wonder what is it that is missing?

* common terms that would be used in my thesis… ;p I’m poisoned...

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